What a noble cause; creating and raising a family. Then why is it so hard?
Some may say it's because of the kids, and they would be right, except it is usually due to the inadequacies that are made more apparent in parenting the children. There are so many paths that we can take in this world but what would happen if we were to reprioritize and rethink everything? Members of the Church of Jesus Chirst of Latter-Day Saints know that our responsibility is to create seed unto the Lord as well as Fathering and Mothering in a way that the kids become the Children of Zion. Easy right? Definitely not, but with the Lord nothing shall be impossible.
There are so many aspects of life that seem to consume our time or slip from our grasp, which begs the question, why would God give us such a great task and yet so many challenges? Isn’t that wrong? No, it shows how much He loves us, He wants to challenge us and help us grow. For every challenge that He gives us, He is showing how much He trusts us. This is so cool! Each child that the Lord gives us is literally a challenge that gives us an opportunity to fulfill our divine roles in this life.
This graph shows how satisfaction can go down with each child. Which can be an obstacle in fulfilling our divine duties but this will be addressed in the following paragraphs.
What I have been learning and studying is that each of these dips in marriage satisfaction is actually and opportunity for the couple to grow and strengthen their relationship. This improvement is only possible through good communication and keeping every present the need to actively work on and improve the relationship between the Father and Mother. It is not the fault of the child for the lack of marital satisfaction, but instead because the parents become so obsessed with the child that they sometimes sacrifice their relationship in the process. I am not saying that spouses can neglect their child, however, they do need to find opportunities to communicate frequently as possible as well as still finding time to date and relax. If the time is spent to focus on the relationship, the graph can quite literally be flipped on its head.
Satisfaction level and time.
Children are great, and raising them should also be a great experience! So if we can make the time with our children a time bonding with our spouse, it can and will result in a happier marriage, life, parenthood, and self development.
There is another great factor that plays a role in our marriage, and that is setting boundaries and working together as parents and a marriage to keep those boundaries active and strong. While boundaries may be regarded annoying or limiting, they actually provide the guidelines for a well run system to be in place, and there are few things in life more satisfying and more powerful than a great system. Without boundaries there is little keeping a marriage working in the same direction. It also helps to keep other people or forces from entering into the system unwantedly.
A great example was given this week of having a white picketed fence surround a quaint little home. Like the example below.
As the cute little picket fence shows, the property is clearly marked and anyone wanting to step onto the property will know very clearly when they have crossed the boundary line, whether they were invited or not. Having the line clearly marked also makes upkeep and maintenance easier. Which shows the power of well dined barriers and boundaries.
In your personal life, in your relationships, and in most aspects of life it is crucial and important to set boundaries and keep them well maintained. This make the difference between success and failure, or in marriage, happiness or declining satisfaction.
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