Everyone knows what they think they want. But not everyone knows that what they actually want is happiness.
This can be very controversial due to the fact that we all think we know what will bring us happiness, but family is truly what will unite and give us purpose and happiness in our lives. This week my professor told of an instance in which he had to help sooth a family situation that was literally boiling over. He had to find a way to calm an extremely angry and potentially dangerous father. All involved were deeply concerned that the father would try to hurt the daughter. But all the father was concerned about was the welfare of his daughter and was willing to do whatever necessary to ensure that well-being.
As my professor described the circumstances I listened with wonder as I heard him tell us of the situation and how it unfolded. It truly was amazing how my professor as a therapist was able to show the pure love of Christ (Charity) and help every single individual know that they were loved, helped them feel understood and gave them the confidence as a family that they needed to make amends and remove the barriers that existed in between them. My favorite part of the story was the way we were able to learn that the true reason behind the results was the way in which we have to remind people of how human they are, and making it quite a reinvigorating process.
He would ask each one of the family members their perspective of the situation and how they felt about it. Of course they would not always share what they were truly thinking so he would ask them question and then ask again but always with respect and love in his methods. My professor told us of how necessary it was for him to use a comical self evaluation method of questioning, in fact, my professor's ability to make these self evaluation questions "comical" was a catalyst in helping each individual observe where they could do better. And at the end of the therapy session they walked away a strong and more united family, because they had learned by themselves what they truly wanted. They wanted happiness, and that could only be achieved they were all in as a family.
Some of my professors methods were based on the research of a man named Salvador Minuchin. Salvador Minuchin discovered that many families with problematice dynamics could be healed little by little through changing the physical dynamics of where they sat. He would have the father and the mother sit closer in proximity, this would very subtly change the way they interacted during their time with him, and he noticed that the problems the children of the families experienced would diminish, all because of asking the parents to sit together during the therapy sessions. What a discovery! This is important to understand especially because such a small change could greatly and positively affect the situation of a family. I will include a link so you can learn more of Salvador Minuchin.
I had severally key takeaways from his story, I realized that these strategies are important and even crucial in most aspects of our lives. In our teams, our workplaces, our ecclesiastical calling, and so forth, but most of all in our families.
Key Takeaways
Always find a love for the people you are working with, like Christ did.
Ask questions that help the person self analyze and reflect.
Show the perspective of others.
Listen to those who are feeling misunderstood.
Remember that the peacemakers have to not take things personally.
Use activities to teach.
Be completely honest.
Have a Sense of Humor and don’t take yourself too seriously
Salvador Minuchin: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvador_Minuchin
Comments
Post a Comment